Inked Sins

I don’t love
with limitations.
My love is wild,
reckless,
and all-consuming.
I don’t know how to love
without losing myself in it.

I love selfishly too—
Wanting to spend every moment,
every second,
doing everything
and nothing together.
To call him mine and to be his.

But now when I am in love,
something shifted.
My love language became strange,
unfamiliar.
I never imagined
I’d want someone to be happy
and safe even without me.
Yet, I find myself hoping,
he experiences all the beauty life has to offer.
Even if I’m not there
to share it with him.

I want to love him so deeply
that he never doubts
how incredible he is.
To support his dreams,
to cheer for him like a fool.
To celebrate his victories
and hold him close when life gets hard.
I want him to believe—
without question—
That he is extraordinary,
that he is loved endlessly.

But this love scares me.
What if I lose myself completely?
I can’t—
I’ve fought too hard
to become who I am.
What if my love suffocates him?
I won’t allow that—
he is far too precious.

But what if…
what if we find balance?
What if we are two whole souls,
adding joy to each other’s lives
Without losing ourselves in the process?
What if we stand together,
yet stay individually strong?

That feels like a dream—
Too perfect,
too fragile.
Because love like that doesn’t happen,
does it?

Not when fear takes over.
Not when doubt lingers.
I’m not afraid of getting hurt.
Rejection doesn’t break me.
Distance doesn’t bother me.
Loneliness doesn’t define me.
But what does terrify me—
Is the possibility
that I might love him too much.
That my love could overwhelm him.
That I might be too much for him to hold.